Beyond the "Shades of Gray"

Because Homosexuality is the Symptom, Not the Solution

"This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit."
1st Corinthians 2:13-14

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."
Galatians 1:10

I realize that not everyone within the openly-homosexual segment of our society will need to be addressed directly by such a letter as this. But there are some of you out there who obviously do.

The purpose of this letter is not to convince any of you of my point of view, because I really don't care if you accept that or not. No, this letter is written simply to point out why it is that we will often have to disagree, and why it is that we never will come to any agreement on certain points. But it's also written to say, "Agreeing to disagree, well, that's okay!" There will always be other points of view that will conflict with or contradict your own, and you shouldn't take that so personally when it happens.

And what about me... Shouldn't I abide by that same advice to not take your disagreements personally? Of course I should... and I do! I do not take any opposing viewpoint personally. However, what I do take very personally (after all, I am human) is the unprovoked vindictiveness, filthy language, trash-talking, and accusations, which are almost always included along with your disagreeing communications. That is a childish behavior that I do not render towards you, and so I'd appreciate it if you would grow up, and learn to speak your mind without all of that unnecessary nonsense.

I'm not suggesting anywhere within any of my writings and articles, that any person should seek freedom from homosexuality who doesn't want to. Nor am I suggesting that change should ever be forced upon any person; not even upon those who are open to the idea that change may be possible.

But, you and me, the two of us each has a very different point of view that we're using from which to approach this broad and very emotional subject area of sexual orientation issues. Since there is no conclusive scientific evidence that will prove either of our viewpoints to be true, you use the fact of the homosexual feelings you have, and your own sexual behaviors, as the basis, the proof, and the starting point from which you pursue your contention that this is who you are. And I need no convincing in order to understand, or believe, or even to appreciate the fact that this is who you strongly believe yourself to be. I've been there myself, after all! And so I really need no further convincing of that fact. In other words, I'm convinced that you're convinced that you were born to be a homosexual, and that you believe that there is nothing at all that you or I can do about it, other than simply accept it.

I, on the other hand, approach this controversial subject from a very different starting point... a foundation of biblically-defined boundaries that has set the limits of "truth" in stone before either one of us ever existed, and in spite our own experiences, or how either one of us may feel about such boundaries. It's a foundation of what scripture says so very plainly on the one hand, together with the spiritual logic on the other hand, which reasons that God does not contradict himself by creating someone to helplessly become that which he is opposed to. That is why we disagree about homosexuality.

In fact, let me just completely simplify our differences here, because they will all boil down to this: You approach homosexuality with your eyes focused on you, while I approach homosexuality with my eyes focused on Christ. Our disagreement really is that simple.

From my vantage point, I am bound to disagree even with those of you who tell me that you grew up in a happy and stable home, and that there is absolutely no "issue," or "abuse," or "situation" in your past that is identifiable, to which anybody can point to and suggest that "it" was what may have triggered your same-sex attractions and sexual behaviors. Even with such confidence on your part, God still dictates the boundaries of what I am willing to define as "truth." Therefore, I'm still just as convinced as I was before that there is either an "issue" or "trigger pattern" that such a person has obviously overlooked, or that there was a factor of misinterpreted desires and emotions that misled their sexual curiosity and immaturity into a behavioral choice: A choice to try homosexual activity first, and then the choice to continue to pursue the enjoyment it gave them once they had tried it, until it became a behavioral lifestyle. Because, if any of you think that an otherwise heterosexual person is incapable of pursuing an unrestrained sexual curiosity to the point of trying and even enjoying homosexual activity, then you are mistaken, or you just don't know the human nature and free will very well. Again, not trying to convince you of anything here, I'm simply pointing out why we will never agree on certain points.

An additional point: My intent in these articles is not to silence the outlets that give voice to your beliefs about homosexuality. But I will certainly, and most aggressively, confront the blatant hypocrisy and double-standard within the activist-side of the homosexual community, which consistently attempts to distort, misinterpret, and silence mine! Because my intent in these articles, and in many of the other written postings I make to open forums, is to reach out to those people who may desire to hear about the information which offers them an avenue of freedom from homosexual feelings and behaviors which they have either decided that they do not want, or that they never wanted to have in the first place. And that should be their decision, not yours! So, if you oppose me and this message, because you claim to be comfortable with who you believe yourself to be, then why should the thought of another person willfully and freely desiring to become free from their own homosexual behaviors, be viewed as any kind of a threat to you... if, as I say, you really are truly and honestly secure within yourself about your own sexuality? That other person's choice does not affect you in the least, unless, of course, the thought that someone might actually succeed in changing shakes the very core of what you believe about your own homosexuality.

But the world does not revolve around what you believe about your homosexual behavior, any more than it revolves around what I came to believe about mine. So stop trying to belittle and silence such information from getting to others who may want to hear it, all for the sake of your own behavioral justifications. Or if you say, even with sincere compassion, that you try to oppose my message in order to "protect" other people from such information; well, then I'd remind you that most people are completely capable of taking such information at it's face-value, and arriving at their own conclusions about it all by themselves, and certainly without any additional persuasion from you. After all... isn't that what you were able to do with the information after you examined it? Or is the real fact of the matter that you haven't examined it, and you have been using and relying on the people who agree with you, as your only real support network for what you say that you believe about yourself? In that case, I can see how you would perceive me to be such a personal threat to you.

If you have not done so, at least go back and read the portion of my article that contains my testimony. And then try to place yourself into my shoes before you choose to get so angry at me in the future, or at any of the other people out there who are also uncomfortable with their homosexual attractions and behaviors. Because we have each walked in your shoes already, and now we see things differently than you do.

I understand that there are indeed some "religious" people out there who do spread hatred and ignorance in what they do and say, and some of them do so in the name of Christ and Christianity. I am not one of those people, and you have grossly misinterpreted my intentions if you think that I am! But a provocation or a distortion of the truth through gay-minded activism will still usually always produce a direct response back from me, in order to confront the rhetoric or emotional spin, whatever that may be, with the truth of the Gospel of Christ. But don't take it personal when I confront such activism so directly. I am confronting the activism and its lies, and that distorted way of thinking, rather than you personally. And any hate-mail and hateful rhetoric from that crowd that is directed back towards me; well, it only serves to prove out the points I've made within the article, as it strengthens and reinforces my own beliefs about homosexual behavior.

I am not a person who is without compassion, and I do understand your point of view, and most of the emotions that you are probably feeling and directing back towards me in anger, when someone like me steps up to the plate and unapologetically debates the real issues of homosexuality. I would much rather that we could be friends. But whether we agree or disagree about homosexuality, like it or not, mine is one voice of truthful reasoning that is here to stay! So, if all you can do now is hate me for simply telling you the truth, then I'll just find even greater comfort in these words:

"[The world] hates me because I testify that its works are evil... If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."
Jesus Christ speaking, John 7:7 & 15:19

Most Sincerely,

Dean
Author of "Beyond the Shades of Gray"